High Anxiety

Infertility is not an easy thing. It naws at me continuasly throughout each day. I have countless self help books of inspiration and education about infertility to help. I've joined an online support group of sorts for infertile women. I've cried, whined, and yelled. But still the anxiety builds. We have an appointment this coming Tuesday, and we are really hoping that we'll finally get the green light to begin an actual cycle. If I have another setback, I just don't know how I will handle it.
Jeff has been the most amazing husband a girl could ever ask for. He rubs my feet often, he rubs my back each and every night, and even reads to me in bed until I fall asleep. He does these things for me because he knows just how high my anxiety has gotten. It's at a fever pitch these days. And it's taking not only an emotional toll on me, but a physical one as well. I have researched into what usually helps most women who are going through the IVF process, and would actually help with a successful outcome. Other than drinking the countless cups of chamomile tea that I do nightly, I think I will take a go at getting twice weekly massages, as well as weekly accupuncture sessions. I am willing to try anything to help with our success, and given that a large componant of that stems from my anxiety level being greatly reduced, I can happily go along with the idea of regular massages. Maybe infertility has a small perk after all. At least that's how I keep my spirits lifted.