Just the two of us...for now
And so the journey begins...
Friday, May 14, 2010
To meet or not to meet?
Jeff & I are strongly considering the option to have either some sort of one-time communication with our donor (i.e., an email or phone call), or to perhaps meet her one time. When we orginally chose her, she stated in her bio that she is open to any of these options, but also respects the choice by the receipient's to remain anonymous. We chose at first to be anonymous. But after much thought, and hearing such wonderful things about our donor from both my RE's office as well as her agency, we are thinking it would be really neat to be able to meet her. But it's a huge decision to make. I have fears of "what if she doesn't like us?" or "what if she meets us, and thinks OMG...THOSE people are going to use my DNA for a family?". Afterall, let's face it: we aren't the physically prettiest of couples. I look like a gnome and Jeff is a straight up nerd. LOL. Usually I'm ok with that, but I am afraid of being judged harshly by our donor. But it sure would be neat to meet her, so that one day we can tell our children that we met the nice lady that helped Mommy and Daddy create our family. What to do, what to do?
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WOW that is a tough decision. My first reaction was yes, then immediately no, then yes. I can relate to your fears of being judged. It is so unfortunate we live in a society that is so obsessed with physical appearance. But at the same time it might be nice for the donor and make her more at ease with the whole process to know that the baby will be raised by such cool and loving people like Jeff and yourself.
ReplyDeleteWow...I don't even know what I would do in that situation. Eeek. I think it would be quite interesting to know what she's like, even if it's just a little bit. But I too would be afraid of any judgements, be it personality, looks, etc. Sorry I have no constructive advice. Best of luck in your decision.
ReplyDeleteAfter much thought, we have decided that what we plan to do is to have a bouquet sent to our donor after her retrieval procedure, along with a handwritten letter from us. Her agency and our attorney stated that it would be fine for us to sign our first names, in order to keep it anonymous. We also plan to get her a small gift for her to keep, and hopefully remind her for years to come of the wonderful gift she has given us. We are thinking something such as a bracelet or necklace from Tiffany & Co. would be nice.
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